Love Thy Neighbor As Thyself

¹“And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.” (Matthew 22:39). We’re presented with something of a chicken or an egg problem when it comes to loving our neighbor as ourselves. Is it the case that we can only love our neighbor as much as we love ourselves? Or can we only love ourselves as much as we love our neighbor? I feel as though the two are more closely tied than we might suppose. I think that if we are struggling to love our neighbor, then maybe we need to examine our lives and assess whether our thoughts, words, and actions indicate that we really do love ourselves. If we hate ourselves, the one person whose thoughts and motivations and history we know better than any other, then how can we possibly find it in ourselves to love someone else? But even if we are struggling to love ourselves, the answer is not to cut ourselves off from our neighbors until we’ve got this whole self-love thing worked out. When we choose to love and serve our neighbors, even if we are feeling really down on ourselves, then that love for our neighbor will spill back onto us. As they show their gratitude towards us for the loving service we provide, they give us the evidence and the proof we need to determine that we are in fact good people that are worthy of love. And it works just the same going the other way. As we come to truly know and love ourselves and to recognize the joy and the peace and the goodness that is inside of us, we will be naturally motivated to share that goodness and that love with our neighbors. Sometimes it’s all about finding the path of least resistance. If we find it easier to love our neighbor than ourselves, then let’s focus on loving them. If we feel that our self-loathing is causing us to lash out and do more harm than good in our interactions with others, then maybe we need to get to the bottom of what’s really bothering us and straighten things out so that we can return to loving our neighbors with our whole hearts. In any case, whether we are struggling to love ourselves or our neighbor or both, the Savior will always be there to help us work out the kinks so that the love can flow freely between us, our neighbors, and the Savior.